is...........
is................
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as a Kindergarden Helper.
Yes i know it sounds 'cute'-as someone would claim it but it's a satisfying job all the same. I started this week, which is also the first week of school for Year 3 and some Year 4 students. It's not only the first week of school but also the first time in school in their life. So I suppose you know what happens when you leave a child at a age of 3 or 4 years old for a few hours in school without their mummy beside them. Yes, it's the sentence which i've got quite bored hearing it. The sentence is:
I WANT MY MUMMY!
Some would be sobbing between tears muttering it and some would be yelling their heads off screaming that sentence out. While of course there are some that would be a good boy/girl whereby they wouldn't scream or cry, but like an angel, well maybe not that good, but obey the teachers/helpers in most of the instructions. A few instructions that we teachers/helpers keep saying,'(name) sit down, good boy/girl'
'take out your bottle/tupperware'
'come line up go shh shh/wee wee/niao niao/toilet'
'come follow Ko Ko/jie jie/teacher'
Yeah, it's the same sentence day by day and mentioned minutes by minutes. We have to be gentle because we want them to feel comfortable so that they would want to come back to school the next day, or following day, or the following week. So everything has to be gentle, and no radical or harsh move can be taken. Let me show your the timetable for this past one week:
8.00am: Arrive in school, assembly
8.30am:Play toys in class
9.30am:Toilet
9.45am:Recess
10.00am:Show
10.45am:Colouring
11.45am:Home
So enjoyable, well, it's the first week. Next week, MUAHAHAHAHA!!! no more honeymoon! it's time to reveal the true-self behind teachers and helpers where the magic rod shall come forth and do it's never failing magic. Haha!
Ok, enough of evilness, let me share you some jokes and experience.
1-When a child cries, the normal words that I mention, which normally succeeds in stopping them from crying:
'don't cry, mummy come later, mummy now go home already, good girl/boy, don't cry, good girl/boy a not?good girl/boy don't cry, don't cry ok? good girl/boy'
Yes i've been saying the same thing over and over again and hey, it works ok.
2-Oh i meet someone very cute, and some of you would know her, her name is Suki! well, not that Suki Low but another Suki. She's cute and when she cries for her mummy, any helper or teacher that goes near her, she just hug them only crying at the same time. And yea, i got my fair share and today i manage to stop her crying! she came to school and cry until like 10++ then after that she stop crying and became cheerful and active like other kids around.
3-I overhead this from a teacher. Apparently someone, a child puke in class. The 3rd or 4th case in my class, and his friend, sitting beside the kid who puke, saw it, and puked too. ROFLMAO
4-Somehow i notice some kids are very innovative? give them toys to play, they know what to do with it or how to play with it while some are quite lost. Perhaps they have play it before? i don't know for sure but well, we even have to teach them to play.
5-Most of the time, kids would cry for their mummy. Well one the funny thing was that when they cry for their mummy, and we say mummy would come later, some of them or most of them i would say, would continue crying for their mummy, but there are some smart alec, haha, who would change to crying for their daddy. So it'll be like:
'I want my mmummyyy.......'
'Don't cry, mummy come later'
'I want daddyyyyyy'
6-And then there was this kid in my class who cry for his ye ye(grandfather). And i will have to bring him round the school compound so that he knows that his grandfather is not here where i was told it would satisfy them and they would stop crying. Here's the funny part. There was once i bring him out, and after walking round and still outside, he suddenly lift up his shirt. I know of course that he wants to pee and i told him to go inside but before i could do that, his pants was already down and urine was streaming out from his manhood already. Luckily i wasn't standing in front of him. He just pee on the grass outside the school.
7-Now i know why children lie, that's because teachers/helpers lie. Well, it's part of the job. Let me tell you about it. I was walking past when suddenly a teacher say,
'Ok ok don't cry, i ask Ko Ko to call your daddy'
Then i blur blur say'you want your mummy?'
kid: 'NO! i want daddy'
me: 'okok, i call daddy now.' takes out phone and pretend to call
Then later on i happen to bump into him again.
'Have you call my daddy?'
'Y...eeaaaa i did'
'what did he say?'
'Oh, he say that when school over then he only come fetch you'
'harh?must school over only daddy come fetch?'
'yes, so be good boy, then daddy come fetch you later'
I feel mean lying to him.....but no choice, had to play the game to stop him crying.
8-Now i also know why car accidents are on the rise. That's because crashing cars is in their genes and it cannot be removed. Why do i say so? let me tell you why. Part of toys given to them was toy cars, different cars and some of them was like F1 car, truck, normal car, some funny car but all cars in one way or another. Then when they grab hold of the car, they would first just move it front and back. Then after some time when they high already, they start banging the car with their friends car, seeing who can bang the hardest.
The part where the move it front and back is like when people start to learn driving.
The part where the get high is like when people have their license and feel that the road belongs to them, where the phrase me, myself and I is meditated by them.
9-On Tuesday i stayed back to help with some stuff. And i was sitting inside the headmistress office doing some work. And then, i heard crying and howling and screaming. All came from one boy. The headmistress, hm i think perhaps pissed off pulled him inside the office and told him to stop crying, and until he stop crying would she only let him out. Well, obviously the boy continued crying for his mummy.
I WANT MY MUMMY!
And after like 15 minutes like that, his phrase change,'I want to go out, wwaaaaa waaaaaaaa'
And after another 15 minutes, he stop crying and when asked whether he would go bath and sleep, he nodded. Well i thought that would be the end of this funny part but after some time, the headmistress came in carrying a mop and mop the floor where the boy stood. So i asked,'wa, cry until so much tears need mop to clean?'
'no la, he lai liu(pee on his pants)'
ROFLMAO, this means that the kid had tears flowing out in both directions when he was crying, one up and one down.
10-This is the funniest part of all. There was a girl in my class. Her mummy was with her for the first two or three days, can't remember. Then one day, her mummy went to the toilet and she started crying. So well, i went in to calm her down but before i was close to her, she screamed,
'I don't want you'
Then another teacher went in, but also before she could touch her,
'DON'T TOUCH ME!'*hit her fist in the air*
The teacher also scare dy, the teacher say,
'okok, i won't touch you'
Then her mummy came back. Well that's not the end, the best part was on thursday. Her mummy left after recess like that and yes you guessed it, she started crying. The headmistress came and calmed her down in an unexpected way.
'I want my mummy, i don't want you!
'okok, your mummy went inside toilet,don't cry'
She stopped crying for a while and then she started again. This time, the teacher said,
'your mummy pangsai'
so she stopped crying for a while and after some time started again. And then came this reply,
'your mummy fell inside the toilet bowl got flush away cannot get back'
They took the girl round the school compound and after that, she stopped crying but anti-social, didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything. Walaueh, ROFLMAO man, what a reply! who would have thought of that? And today, the girl cried again and even sorta roll on the floor, stamp her feet but towards the end, i saw her smiling and having fun. Well, miracles do happen.
Oh and there was this kid too, well she didn't cry except for once. Whenever someone cry, she would look at them and watch them, like interested in watching them cry. She would not play the toys laid in front of her but watch no matter how i tell her to play or turn in front.
Well that's all for now, would upload pics of the place i work some other time.
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